


Just Add Nuts

by totallynotnatalie



Category: GWA - Fandom, Original Work, PTA - Fandom, PillowTalkAudio - Fandom, gonewildaudio - Fandom
Genre: Banter, Cute, F/F, F/M, GFE, Gen, L-Bombs, M/M, No Nut November Parody, Stale Halloween Candy Ranking, bfe, sfw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:27:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28223859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/totallynotnatalie/pseuds/totallynotnatalie
Summary: This is just a cute little script about a couple arguing about stale Halloween candy and threatening to give up eating nuts. It's a gentle play on No Nut November temptation scripts. Although in this case, the performer is simply tempting their partner to eat things with nuts in them
Relationships: A4A - Relationship





	Just Add Nuts

**Author's Note:**

> This is a script for the GWA subreddits. Please contact me before posting a recording of this work anywhere else.
> 
> This content is intended for 18+ audiences only.
> 
> Feel free to modify the script to meet your needs.

[A4A] Just Add Nuts [Banter][BFE/GFE][Cute][No Nut November Parody][Stale Halloween Candy Ranking][L-Bomb]

Script Notes: This script is a gentle play on No Nut November temptation scripts. Although in this case, the performer is simply tempting their partner to eat things with nuts in them.   
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey babe, guess what I got at the store? 

No, not pumpkin spice Oreos. We already tried those, remember? 

No, not chocolate. But you're close though. 

Give up?

I got this giant bag of Almond Joys! They were having a sale on all of the Halloween candy and I just couldn't resist. Oh, I can't wait to eat these! 

What? Almond Joys are great. Don't tell me you don't enjoy all of that coconutty goodness? 

No way, they are not a C-tier candy. You're just wrong.

No, absolutely not. 

I might give you B-tier because, I'll admit that they can't compete with the likes of Reese's peanut butter cups. But Almond Joys are still a solid there-for-you-during-a-time-of-stress-eating snack. 

No, listen! They're like those jeans that you always throw on. You know? Not part of your favorite outfit, but solid, reliable, and able to get you through a tough day. You should appreciate Almond Joys like you appreciate old jeans. They may not be anything to write home about, but both are staples. 

(indignant) What? I haven't put too much thought into this. You're just annoyed that I'm right.

That's almond joy's true place in the candy hierarchy unless you can convince me otherwise. 

Yes, there is a candy hierarchy and the C-tier candy list reserved for tootsie rolls and short-lasting bubble gums. 

No, not candy corn. Candy corn belongs on the F-tier. Or just in the trash. I'm not sure that it even deserves to be ranked. 

Oh, you want to argue with me?

Wait, don't tell me that you think that gross little pieces of candy corn are than Almond Joys? You can't be serious. 

You are?

I just-Wait, when was the last time that you even had an Almond Joy?

Come on, be honest. 

When you were seven? 

Well, no wonder you think that they're so awful. Seven-year-olds are too young to appreciate Almond Joys. They're more of an adult candy. 

And you can't say they're awful if haven't had one since you were a child. I mean, did you even like coconut as a kid?

See? But I know that you love it now. So, I bet that you'll love almond joys too. 

Here, come on, try one. Your palate has definitely evolved since you were seven years old. 

Come on. I promise that they taste good. 

Just take one bite. What are you afraid of? I know that you don't have a nut allergy or anything.

So-just

What? 

You're doing No Nut November? 

I-Babe, you realize that 'No Nut November' is not some health fad where people don't eat nuts, right? .....It's about dudes not jacking off for a month? So...eating an almond joy would in no way violate the rules of that challenge. 

Well, unless somebody had a bizarrely strong fetish for coconut. 

But, [4F]you're not even a guy/[4A]you don't, so I really don't think that you need to worry. 

(pause)

Oh, you want to change the rules of No Nut November? 

Ok wait, so just to clarify, you want to change the rules of a largely fake internet challenge about not fapping to get out trying one bite of an Almond Joy? 

Yeah, I'm not really sure that's in keeping with the spirit of No Nut November.

Well, I don't actually know what the spirit of No Nut November is....but I'm pretty sure it's not about refusing to try new things. It's more about...I don't know, denial I guess? 

(pause) 

(laughing) Nice try. You're not really denying yourself by not trying Almond Joys. It doesn't count as denying yourself if it's something that you already don't want to do. 

Although, I actually don't think you've thought about how much you'd be giving up if you did this little challenge that oyu made up. It would mean nothing with nuts in it for a month. 

And don't think that I wouldn't hold you to it. If this is the excuse that you want to use, you're facing the consequences. 

No nuts for the rest of the month. And that includes anything that has 'may contain nuts' on the label.

*kiss*

Think that you can do it? 

(teasing) I don't know...A lot of your favorite foods have nuts in them. Are you sure it's really worth it to avoid trying one teeny tiny Almond Joy? 

You're sure? Even if it means no more of those nut butters that you love so much? 

Okay, I guess you'll just have to eat your toast dry...

Oh, you know what else you won't be able to have? French fries.

Nope, they fry them in pine nut oil. Such a shame. 

And I guess I'll have to hold on to making my 'world famous peanut butter pie' for a bit. I wouldn't want to tempt you. 

(pause)

Although, I don't really have an interest in giving up nuts myself. So...there's nothing stopping me from going into the kitchen right now and getting some of that delicious chocolate and peanut butter ice cream we brought last week.

(whispers) I could just sit here while you watch me lick it off a spoon. 

Of course, I'd be happy to offer you some too if only you were allowed to have it. 

(pause)

(laughing) You giving in yet? 

(laughing) Good because I need somebody to share my fries with. 

*kiss*

And you're the perfect person for that. 

*kiss*

Now, you know that you don't actually have to try Almond Joys if you don't want to, right? You don't need to come up with any more ridiculous excuses. We can just agree to disagree on our candy ranking, okay?

Good.

(pause)

Wait, where would you rank Necco Wafers? Please tell me that you think they're F-tier? 

Whew. Okay good. I just had to be sure. 

*kiss*

(laughing) Love you. Come on, let's go get some of that peanut butter ice cream.


End file.
